This has to be the best Superbowl gif !
Because of how 51 runs up
I love how Tumblr teaches us how to be perfect criminals.
But why is this on a picture of a duck
because ducks are remorseless killers
Pizza is hard.
Let’s bow our head in silence for our fallen brothers.
are they seriously so stupid that they dont know to put like a cookie sheet under the pizza
those dumbasses didn’t deserve their pizza
EVER FELT LIKE PUNCHING YOUR WEAK-ASS LEMONADE IN THE FUCKING FACE? OF COURSE YOU HAVE, MOTHERFUCKER!
SO THIS IS HOW TO MAKE SOME GODDAMN DELICIOUS LEMONADE!
FIRST, MARCH YOUR BEAUTIFUL BUTT OVER TO THE STORE OR FRIDGE OR WHEREVER-THE-FUCK YOU NEED TO BE, TO GET THESE SUPPLIES!
1) A ‘1 CUP’ MEASURING TOOL
2) A PITCHER TO HOLD LEMONADE. IF YOU’RE FEELING LIKE A HARDCORE MOTHERFUCKER, YOU CAN MAKE THIS SHIT IN THE HOLLOWED-OUT SKULLS OF YOUR ENEMIES.
3) WATER, ASSWHIPE, AND MAKE SURE IT’S CLEAN.
4) SUGAR - NORMAL WHITE, BORING SUGAR - UNLESS YOU’RE A PUSSY WHO DRINKS ‘NON SUGAR’ SHIT, IN WHICH CASE YOU CAN USE SPLENDA OR WHATEVER THE FUCK, I DON’T EVEN CARE
5) LEMON JUICE
THIS IS THE BEST SHIT. OTHER BRANDS WORK FINE, BUT THIS ONE IS LIKE HAVING SEX WITH THE SPIRITS OF SUMMER, AND SLURPING DOWN THEIR BLOOD MIXED WITH LIQUID SUNLIGHT.
OKAY BITCHES, LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS!
FIRST!!
TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKING MEASURING CUP AND TEAR INTO YOUR SUGAR. YOU LIKE THAT? I BET YOU DO, YOU HARDCORE FUCKER, DIGGING YOUR HANDS INTO SUGAR AS IF IT WAS FREE COCAINE.
TWO CUPS OF THAT SHIT INTO THE PITCHER.
WHAT’S THAT? YOU DON’T LIKE SWEET THINGS? WELL BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUP, ‘CAUSE THIS IS WHERE IT GETS AMAZING
RIP OFF THE CAP TO THAT LEMON JUICE LIKE IT WAS THE HEAD OF THAT DICKWAD YOU HATE, AND LICK THE SPILLED JUICE FROM YOUR FINGERS.
THAT SHIT’S SOUR AS FUCK, BUT YOU NEED TWO CUPS OF LEMON JUICE, MIXED IN WITH YOUR HARDCORE SUGAR OR MAYBE THAT SHITTY ASS FAKE-SUGAR.
MIX IT AROUND USING THE BONE OF YOUR ENEMY. SEE THAT SLUDGE? THAT’S MAGIC SHIT RIGHT THERE.
GET YOUR WATER, STAB IT UNTIL IT DIVIDES PERFECTLY INTO ‘1 CUP’ SECTIONS, OR IF YOU’RE NOT A LEGENDARY WARRIOR, USE THE MEASURING TOOL AGAIN.
NOW DUMP IN 4 CUPS OF WATER TO MIX WITH YOUR MAGIC SLUDGE. SMELLS GOOD, DOESN’T IT?
WELL TAKE A MOUTHFUL AND JUDGE ITS WORTH, BECAUSE REAL WARRIORS DON’T ‘SIP’
IF IT’S TOO STRONG FOR YOUR WEAKLING TONGUE, ADD HALF-CUPS OF WATER ‘TILL ITS GODDAMN PERFECT.
NOW DRINK THAT SHIT OUT OF THE SKULLS OF YOUR ENEMIES LIKE THE CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE
I feel like this is the format every cookbook should be in.
Cooking for the Badass Mother Fucker in You.
